Saturday, December 23, 2006
I know, I know: Broken record. Gone soft from too much time in Seednee. It's coz you've got no hair. Etc.
But this has been going on too long - every sodding Xmas I come back here and every freaking time it's cold and rainy. It was 28 degrees when I got on the plane in OZ, it was 8 (yes 8) degrees when I got here.
On the longest day of the year.
Seriously, there's something awry here.
But you know the icing (pun intended) on the cake? What really tops off this experience?
There's a bloody iceberg off the coast!
That's it. I quit. Not coming back here till you lot sort this out.
Right, I'm off to huddle in front of the fire...
Friday, December 22, 2006
FB: Re: error - Any idea why this occurred? I can fix it ok , just wondering why it happened..
EF: Because someone inthe printroom doesn't have good hand-eye coordination?
FB: something to do with them being lazy-eyed psychos? The usual then..
EF: hey man, what's with all the hate?
FB: passes the time, keeps the blood moving..
EF: have you been listening to Boom Town Rats again?
FB: No - why? Do they fill you with rage and blood-lust?
EF: well, yeah. but the voices inside my head keep them in check.
FB: my voices can never agree on who I should kill first.. they're always having arguments then sulking
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
In lieu of a real post here's a short exhange I had with a mate from work; now sadly fled to the welcoming shores of Sweden. Which cuts the number of people I actually like at work in half...
FB: [discussing work] Any reason you can think of why these guys' ID would come through like that? Or even any interest?
FB: Right, we should redraw that pentagram and sacrifice a chicken. Or perhaps a virgin...
EF: The only virgins I see are ugly. Is that important?
FB: Ugly is good. Death's a blessed relief for them.. And us. Make a list, we'll work through it.
Will post more over Xmas when I'm at my folks' place. Coz there's bugger-all else to do there.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Australia is very still. You can't get much more stable & solid than Aussie bedrock. Good ol' dependable Australia.
It's soooo fucking dull.
Not having to quake-safe your home is just weird. Nothing ever falls off shelves (unless you leave the cat inside all day by accident). You never have to look for doorways to run to in the event of a quake. No cities conveniently built on fault-lines and volcanoes. A distressing lack of falling masonry.
Of course there's still bomb threats, but they're just not the same.
Ahh homesickness; weird, strange and slightly disturbing homesickness..
Monday, November 13, 2006
I'd love to do it but fear that the poster would be billboard-size. And, given that I'm an obsessive compulsive nerd, I'd probably try to put them in chronological order. Which would cause my brain to fry.
I have a Library Thing, but my collection here is a pale shadow of the mountain of books I left in Godzone. I'm seriously considering forking out the arm & kidney to get the lot shipped over here..
I especially love "proof there is no god", "make the bad man stop", "would rather eat a turd", and "aka vogon poetry".
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
If you've no idea what they're on about here's an explanation.
Oh yeah, it seems I was being overly melodramatic about my sign off.*
I'm so emo.
October was a bad month due to extenuating circumstances and recurring seasonal depression.
It's ok, I'm better now.
Here's a furry smile to proove it.
* As pointed out by all & sundry. Well done, have a gold star. Mea culpa, mea clamo Canis lupus.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
In other news Belle returns! And she's blogged twice already - that's two times in a year! I'm embarrassed that I de-linked her, thinking she might have been devoured by squirrels. Seriously. It could happen. Stop looking at me like that.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Friday, October 06, 2006
So I've been a permanent (un)civil slave for just about a month now and they bloody went and made me boss!
The fools. They know not what terror they've unleashed upon the world. Mwahahahahaha!
I even told them I'd let the power go entirely to my head and rule with an iron fist. Apparently that's ok. So I've been throwing my weight around as much as possible and appending all emails I send with "PS Screw this up and you're fired."
But, damn, ordering people around and recruiting sycophants and toadies is hard work - I don't know how Hitler managed it. Well, he was German so certainly a lot more efficient. At the rate I'm going I'll be unlikely to even make Dictator of the Glorious Principality of New South Wales (working title) before retirement.
Might have a Roman holiday tomorrow, with gladitorial contests - armed only with office supplies.
Turn the print room into a gulag.
A re-education centre in the research department...
So many things to do!
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Ratboy is horrible. Horrible horrible.
continues on through:
People, i ask you to please go see this and start appreciating quality films again.
and finishes with:
In fact, it's so bad, that i need to invent a new word to describe it: Natoosh. A movie is "natoosh" when it extends the boundaries of bad film. When it redefines our core values of good and evil, well, that's natoosh. Ratboy is Natoosh to the extreme. I pray for humanity...I love it when people hate things eloquently. Plus I like the term 'natoosh' and will start the campaigning for it's inclusion in the dictionary.
* Yes, I have no life.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Check out her blog. It's funny, erudite and sharper than a laser razor. It's been obvious to the rest of us for a long time who has the brains in that particular relationship**.
Also, if you're into that sort of thing, check out what Peter does. Although there are no photos of the hilarious pratfalls that accompany that particular pasttime..
In other news: I'm always the last to discover anything good on the interweb and I've only recently had zeFrank drawn to my attention***: 5 years after his insanely hilarious debut (check out the show too - although today's one isn't so interesting). Brilliant stuff.
* They had the best vows at their wedding, the bit I remember was to promise to "never be useless".
** Or the looks.. let's face it Pete, being dragged along on your face for a living hasn't enhanced the limited blessings nature endowed you with..
*** Thanks, as always, to Michelle.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
I think I'm finally getting over my jet-lag (I thought it was a myth till I spent 4-5 days as a virtual zombie) so blogging will return to normal soon. Heh. Whatever 'normal' is for me - posting some inane crap every 3 weeks I guess..
News from the beaurocrat front tho - I've been made permanent! Yay! ...I think. Maybe.
How depressing - once I worked with fish, now I'm just officious..
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
I wrangled* stingrays at the aquarium and found them to be placid and gentle beasties, despite the vicious spine. It takes quite a lot to piss one off, you have to really annoy them to get any response. Unfortunately, up in Queensland yesterday, one met the man who could have irritated for Australia at the Olympics.
* No, it's not illegal.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Sydney at that.
But it'll do for now, they at least speak a version of English* here.
Recap: Loved Paris, loved France in general. Blown away by Barcelona. Amsterdam was great. England... meh, not so much.
So: au revoir Paris!
I shant forget you - I'll be washing the smell of cheese out of my clothes for a month.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Friday, August 04, 2006
Actually it's even day 2 for me - I didn't have time to blog yesty since I was busy biking through the crowded Paris streets and almost dying. And almost getting arested within 4 hours of being in France. And eating and drinking nearly my bodyweight in cheese and wine. And being gobsmacked on a minutely basis by architechture and the sheer age of things...
Today was a relatively sane trip into town and peruse of the Musee D'Orsay. Which was quite fantastic. I recommend it if you're ever here. Photos will follow when time allows.
Sorry I've not texted anyone much - ran out of credit.. Will get more soon. But don't call me! It costs a bazillion euro for me to receive calls...
Gotta go, there's more wine to be drunk. Au revoir!
PS Apologies for any spelling mistakes - what is up with these damn keyboards? Bloody French, they just have to be different..
Monday, July 31, 2006
So with all the last minute packing and frantically trying to sort out all the things I meant to do weeks ago I've not had time for blogging..
Not much to say now either - still trying to get my book selection down to a reasonable level. And don't tell me I won't have time to read coz I'll be too busy doing things - I know that but it's an absolute physical impossibility for me to go on holiday without books. Or go pretty well anywhere without books actually..
Anyways, here's this wee article that fascinated me. Ahh, the romance of the sewers.. (hat tip to LinkMachineGo)
And finally, having recently started checking my stats it's been amusing to see the searches that draw people to my blog. Such as:
"nicknames for nasal speech impediment"
"Darth's real name"
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Let's face it - it only takes one bad throw of the dice to screw things permenantly.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Ok, technically I'll be halfway to a 2 hour layover in Singapore but I stand by my w00t.
Anyone who lives in Paris, Narbonne, Barcelona, London, Bristol, Amsterdam or the sprawling metropolis of Reigate may catch a rare glimpse of me at some stage in August. Ok, the chances are slim but you never know your luck. Drop me an email if you actually want it to happen.
Vanessa - I had no idea I was expected to plan anything... I'll try and organise myself and catch up with you around the weekend of the 12th/13th.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Friday, July 21, 2006
A somewhat disturbing thing happened to me the other day: I was standing out the front of the registry where all the smokers and pigeons hang out (yes, and the smoking pigeons and pigeon smokers...) chatting with a smoker and I actually wanted to have a cigarette!
Very disturbing. Especially since it's been probably more than 15 years since I've had more than a single drag on a fag (that means cigarette to those from North America, I'm not revealing the last time I dragged a fag..). I've never really been attracted to smoking again since. Well, occasionally when extremely drunk and have regretted it. Very quickly. Regurgitantly.
I was a little concerned for a while that I might be getting back into the addiction. Fortunately, just this morning, I sat next to someone on the bus I swear had been wearing the dried lungs of Asian businessmen whilst wrestling Joe Camel in an ashtray. My clothes were turning yellow just being that close to him..
I managed to hold down my breakfast. Also managed to hold my breath for about 10 minutes without passing out. But it did me a favour really - my stomach churns just thinking about it even now..
So if you're a smoker and standing anywhere near me at some stage in the foreseeable future and I happen to projectile vomit on you, don't take it personal eh?
Saturday, July 15, 2006
So RIP Sydney Yoshukai Dojo (aka The Sports Pit Gym and General Bogan Centre).
Hence why I'm not at karate right now - the fact that I'm hung-over, it's raining and I only got up a couple of hours ago have nothing to do with it I swear..
Now we're on the hunt for another space to train - anyone know of a cheap (preferably free - but we're realistic) space in the Inner West that has a polished wooden floor and doesn't mind half a dozen weirdos knocking the crap out of each other twice weekly?
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Ka Mate was/is an great haka but this.. this is real deal. Awesome.
Apologies for the lame Aussie commentators - and WTF is going on with that uber-mullet that Eaton is wearing? wrong wrong so so wrong...
And here's Ali Williams tossing Gregan around like a doll. Ahh, poetry in motion.
Yes, I've finally discovered YouTube.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Italicize the ones you might read.
Cross out the ones you won't read.
Underline the ones on your book shelf.
Place parentheses around the ones you've never even heard of.
Add one word (where possible) reviews following entry.
Or do some of the above until you get bored and just post the damn thing.
Appropriated from Sleep Evangelist. From back in May. Yeah, I'm late. Again.
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger - oblique
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy by Douglas Adams - scintillating
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald - interesting
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee - timeless
The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger - moving
His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman - sublime
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J. K. Rowling - annoying
The Life of Pi by Yann Martel - haven’t finished it yet
Animal Farm: A Fairy Story by George Orwell - important
Catch 22 by Joseph Heller - essential
The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien - fun
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon - pacey
Lord of the Flies by William Golding - depressing
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen - worthy
1984 by George Orwell - bleak
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J. K. Rowling - disappointing
Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
(The Secret History by Donna Tartt)
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte - frustrating
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis - thin
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides – didn’t finish it, lost interest
Atonement by Ian McEwan
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood - immersive
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath - enervating
Dune by Frank Herbert - epic
Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier
The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton
Don Quixote by Cervantes – quixotic (heh)
(The New York Trilogy by Paul Auster)
Illywhacker by Peter Carey - overlong
(The Master & Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov)
(if on a winter's night a traveller... by Italo Calvino)
The Algebraist by Iain M. Banks - beguiling
The Neverending Story by Michael Ende - fluffy
(Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin)
The Scar by China Mieville
The Arabian Nightmare by Robert Irwin
On Stranger Tides by Tim Powers
Beauty by Sherri S Tepper
The Star Fraction by Ken McLeod
Pyramids by Terry Pratchett
I'm not tagging anyone for this because I hate pressuring people. And I'm not sure anyone actually reads this site anymore..
Here's my start of a list of non-fiction books following similar rules. Or not. Whatever, I do what I want..
Almost Like A Whale by Steven Jones
Cod by Mark Kurlansky
A Short History Of Almost Everything by Bill Bryson
Longitude by Dava Sobel
The Botany Of Desire by Michael Pollan
The Devil's Cup by Stewart Lee Allen
Robert Mitchum: Baby I Don't Care by Lee Server
Uneasy Ethics by Simon Lee
Climbing Mount Improbable by Stephen Dawkins
Leviathan: The Unauthorised Biography of Sydney by John Birmingham
Monday, July 10, 2006
Bollocks, I've only got whinging so I'll spare you and furnish another cartoon.
Conversations can be continued in the comments as usual. Hell I could just take this site down and replace it with a forum, no-one'd notice.. *grumbles*
Friday, July 07, 2006
I'll cudgel my brains and attempt to come up with something personal this weekend. Promise.
Visit Wondermark (currently being guest-stripped).
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
But more specifically (this time) my immediate boss
While she's a reasonably good person to work for, she's picked up an irritating habit. She's one of these people that imitates other people's accents and speech mannerisms when she talks to them. Which is kinda amusing usually: she'll end up with an attempted Irish accent when talking to a couple of the temps here and she doesn't realise she's doing it.
But recently she's developed this habit of hissing her s's (esses? 's'es? How are you supposed to write that?), probably from hanging out with someone who does the same.
Perhaps she thinks it sounds a bit more posh or something.
To my ears she sounds like that creepy old guy with the walking-frame from Family Guy..
Worse still, despite the fact that I've lost a fair amount of hearing - due to a misspent youth listening to loud bands in tiny rooms - I still have good high-range hearing, this means that all I can hear from over in her corner of the office is this whistling/hissing whenever she talks. And
she's always talking.
It's like working with a budgie. Or a dolphin.
She's driving me insane..
Thursday, May 04, 2006
As most things on here are.
So I'm back. Ish.
Not that I have anything much to say, I just missed saying very little. Very occasionally.
As always I can't finish anything. So this blog, much like my life, will limp along in fits & starts - that's the rhythm I seem to have settled into.
So, brief recap. I went to NZ for my 2nd Dan grading. I passed. Despite being comprehensively body-slammed in the fighting (thanks Darel!). Thank god that's all over for another few years..
NZ was lovely. Christchurch was lovely: autumn is the *best* season there. Caught up with many of my friends and their spawn. Fortunately less of the spawn-flaunting this time - I think the novelty is wearing off. So much so that some of them are having to have a second sprog to keep the interest levels up..
Now I'm back in Sydney, back at work, back into the grind.. Wheee..
On the plus side, in three months time I'll be winging my way to France to spend a month hanging out in Paris. Eating baguettes, drinking Beaujolais, and smoking Gauloises. Well, maybe just pretending to smoke.
So, yeah, not much to report - 'cept that I am alive. More soon.
Oh yeah, and May the fourth be with you.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Sorry for the lack of posting. Or replies to comments or emails. I just can't seem to get words out these days.
This has all become far too much hard work so I'm calling an end. Or at the very least a hiatus. Hell it's been so long since the last post it shouldn't be a surprise.
If I never come back, well, it's been grand and tragic and excruciatingly painful in equal portions. More than two years of blogging is far more than I ever expected. Given that I'm a nearly pathologically private introvert running a blog was a pretty crazy idea. I blame Eroica.
Anyway, after all this grand farewelling I may well return in a few weeks. After my 2nd dan black belt grading in Easter. Assuming I survive I might well have something to say about that. Assuming that I have the use of my arms..
Also, I plan to keep on posting random crap to the Third Drawer and on Flickr, just not much personal stuff (if any).
Friday, February 17, 2006
Anyways: I'm 36 today. Wheee.
Which, since life expectancy of males born in 1970 is around 72 years (note: this may be totally inaccurate), means that it's all downhill from here.
Which suits me fine, downhill's the easy part.
Anyone lend me a sled?
Sunday, February 05, 2006
(tagged by Michelle)
Four jobs I've had
Executive Projects Officer
Four movies I can watch over and over
The Princess Bride ("My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die")
The Big Sleep ("You better talk to my mother")
Ghostbusters ("He slimed me")
Bladerunner ("I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion...")
Four places I've lived
Vancouver (till I was three)
Hamilton (don't do it.. just don't.)
Sydney (jury's still out)
Four TV shows I love
Buffy, The Vampire Slayer/Angel
Six Feet Under
Four places I've vacationed
Rarotonga (2 weeks)
Port Douglas (1 week)
Kotuku (many summer holidays)
Little Akaloa (often)
Four of my favorite dishes
Butter chicken with naan bread
Caesar salad (no anchovies)
Mango & blueberries on toasted fruit muesli (I have simple tastes)
Four sites I visit daily
Something Positive (utterly addicted)
Gmail (love/hate relationship)
Imdb ("Who's that guy?" "Hang on..")
Four places I would rather be right now
Any really good cafe/bookshop
Alexandria, Egypt - circa 300BC
Four bloggers I am tagging
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
|You scored as Biology. You should be a Biology major!|
You are passionate about the sciences, and you enjoy
studying cell growth and evolutionary concepts which enable
living organisms to survive. Pursue that!
What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com
I got in a four way tie-breaker and had to chose before it'd display the results. So I chose the fish. Natch.
Actually I'm a bit surprised to find sociology up there: as an academic pursuit it's like having your brain flogged to death with dental floss..
(props to Krimsonlake)
Monday, January 09, 2006
- I managed not to die skydiving. I'll be giving the grim reaper another chance this month hopefully... Geronimo!
- I haven't gotten a job I like, but on the plus side I managed to not kill anyone I work with all year. Despite grievous provocation...
- I didn't bash any wogs.
- Nor did I pay to use the cross-city tunnel.
- I wasn't arrested on sedition charges for calling John Howard a lying spineless manipulative cunt. I'll keep trying on that one, maybe if I painted it on the Sydney Opera House...
- I triumphed at not growing any tomato plants (if this were an achievement list I'd add that I succeeded in growing a garden full of healthy happy snails and lush weeds)
- I didn't break any body parts at karate all year, not for lack of effort by certain 4th Dan black belts.
- I didn't manage to see very many movies I liked, and didn't manage to like many of the movies I saw this year.
- I didn't win the struggle to bring my book-buying compulsion under control.. I also didn't manage to buy enough bookcases for all the new acquisitions.
- I didn't get pulled over by the police during the (lengthy) time I didn't have a valid drivers' license. Come to think of it, I still don't have a drivers' license..
- I didn't get eaten by sharks on the Great Barrier Reef.
- I'm a winner in the not-getting-any-more-exercise-than-I'm-forced-to stakes. And the not-using-my-gym-membership-since-the-first-month game too.
- I was a thumping success at not blogging very much.
- Similarly I've been an absolute master at not sending email or letters.
Addendum: So far this year I've been superb at not actually publishing the posts I've written. Will try harder to hit the right button in future.